Christmas Cartoon Collection

Christmas Photograph Collection

A Stewardess in Trouble

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. 

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers when suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said "I Have to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out. " The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM ?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, "May I have your attention please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** You !".

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

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Horseback Rescue

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. 

An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. 

The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "whoopee" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo !" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited ?" asked the service station attendant.

Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady" the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback."

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TollBooth Tail

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces.  

He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers.

The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it and they began fitting the pieces together.  

In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.

"Astonishing !" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"

The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."

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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. 

They left a little note on the windscreen, it said Parking Fine."