A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. 

His camel dies of thirst. 

He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. 

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case.

He opens it and out pops a genie....

But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a Senior Manager ID badge and dull grey suit. 

"Well" says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust a Senior Manager."

"What do you have to lose ? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway !"

The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."

***POOF***

The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.

And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK kid, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one !"

After thinking for a few minutes the man says: "I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story - If a Senior Manager offers you anything, there is going to be a string attached.

Pocket Money

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him. 

The bartender comes over, and asks for their order. 

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich.

"What's yours ?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

The cat says, "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it."

The bartender pours the beer and says, "That will be $3.40 please" and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says, "I'll have a beer."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." And the cat says, "I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it."

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.

"The usual ?" asks the bartender.

"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man.

"Same for me" says the ostrich.

"I'll have a small scotch but I'm not paying for it," says the cat.

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time ?" 

"Well" says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there".

"That's brilliant !" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live !"

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The bartender asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich and the cat ?"

The man replies, "My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."

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